- The other day a dude I knew said something shitty to me after I had just gotten an expensive parking ticket. Basically he made fun of me and then he said, "Sorry man, but I like fucking with people." That was his excuse for being a dick, that he likes being a dick. That can't be your explanation for doing something shitty. "Sorry man but I like robbing your house." "Oh okay. You like it? I didn't know that. Oh sorry man but I like beating the shit out of people who enjoy being assholes."

-I saw an interview with a high priced call girl who slept with a lot of big name celebrities and she was bitching about how her clients would treat her rudely after sex. Like she couldn't believe their cold behavior. She was like, "These guys used to treat me like dirt. They didn't respect me at all." You're a prostitute. What do you expect? They paid you money to lick their balls. What'd you think was gonna happen after they jerked off on your face for 100 dollars? Did you think they were gonna go introduce you to their parents? Propose to you on a bed of roses? "Hey hooker that I just hired for 30 minutes, stick this cucumber up your ass while me and my friend whack off, but hurry because right after this I'm taking you to a romantic dinner in Paris."

-I was talking to this girl and she said she dumped her boyfriend because he was too nice during sex. Too nice during sex? People don't like nice sex. The meaner you are the hotter it is. You can't be doing someone from behind and be like; "Oh yeah baby, I just did your taxes." "Oh yeah, lick my balls while I lend your grandparents money and adopt a homeless baby."