-I love that band the Pussycat Dolls. I love how they constantly contradict themselves in their songs. First they'll have a really romantic song about loving a guy forever and being committed to him. Then they'll be like "Here's our new single it's called 'I love having impersonal butt sex with random guys I don't know on the subway.'" Are you in love with your boyfriend or are you a whore?

-

-I saw this rap video and in it there was a scene where the main rapper was on the toilet taking a crap. Now this was the main rapper in the video so he definitely had a say in this shot. So he wanted people to see him on the toliet. What's he gonna do in his next video, "Al right I want the video to start with me getting caught masturbating in my car and then we cut to me shitting my pants while getting beaten up by a 10 year old girl."

-I love when people try to lie now about not getting your emails. That's not a good lie anymore. You can't say that anymore. The other day someone was like, "Oh, I didn't get your emails." Really? That's funny because that's not possible. I sent it to you so you did get it. If you didn't get it then I would have gotten a message about it. I guess everyone got my emails except for you.

-I wish Sarah Palin would shut her fucking mouth already. She keeps bitching in interviews that she was unfairly scrutinized by the media. She keeps attacking Katie Couric for trying catch her in a 'Gotcha!' moment. She asked you what newspapers you read!! That's not a tough question. You should be able to answer that if you're a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

-I like to smoke weed more than drinking mainly because I prefer the company of stoners to heavy drinkers. Stoners are much better to be around. The worst thing a stoner will do to you is tell you a boring story about a time they lost their keys. But an alcoholic will fuck your girlfriend and then steal your car.

-I read this story about this couple that was trying to get their son's name on his birthday cake but stores refused. The kid's name is Adolph Hitler Campbell. The craziest thing is that this couple had to agree on this name. That just seems like a name that one party in the relationship might have had a problem with. "So what should we name our baby?" "How about Adolph Hitler?" "Umm...I still like Kevin."

Also this couple tried to get swastikas on the cake. I couldn't imagine hating something so much that I would make it a part of my cake decoration. That's like if I decorated my birthday cake with pictures from the movie 'Dances With Wolves.'