-I like to smoke weed more than drinking mainly because I prefer the company of stoners to heavy drinkers. Stoners are much better to be around. The worst thing a stoner will do to you is tell you a boring story about a time they lost their keys. But an alcoholic will fuck your girlfriend and then steal your car.

-I read this story about this couple that was trying to get their son's name on his birthday cake but stores refused. The kid's name is Adolph Hitler Campbell. The craziest thing is that this couple had to agree on this name. That just seems like a name that one party in the relationship might have had a problem with. "So what should we name our baby?" "How about Adolph Hitler?" "Umm...I still like Kevin."

Also this couple tried to get swastikas on the cake. I couldn't imagine hating something so much that I would make it a part of my cake decoration. That's like if I decorated my birthday cake with pictures from the movie 'Dances With Wolves.'