-I was walking down the street and there was this smokingly hot chick walking, basically in her underwear, and this dude ahead of me looked at her and started angrily shaking his head to himself. Like he was angry at how hot this chick was. That's when you know you're hot, when men on the street are reacting to you the way they would react to an act of racism. "Damn look at that hot chick. Man, that shit just aint right."

-They say that every man grows up to marry a woman just like his mother. I think that's a bummer for most guys to hear, except for Pamela Anderson's sons.

-When you're a kid and you're trying to think of jobs you want to do when you grow up it's always a very vast list. It's like; "Okay I'm either gonna be an astronaut, a rock star or President." When you become an adult and you're trying to figure out jobs for yourself it's a bit more limited. It's like; "I'm either gonna hand out flyers, sell all my clothes or rob a video store."