-I was watching the Olympics and they were talking about this guy who was the fastest runner in the world. He won like 3 gold medals last Olympics but this year he won only silver. Apparently he got a new coach after the last Olympics and since then his performance has changed. Was the new coach like; "Al right here's a new strategy were gonna try. Run slower. Trust me. It'll work." After he loses the race the runner's like "Um...yeah that didn't work coach." "I'm sorry I guess you were right after all. You should run faster than the other guys in the race. My bad."

-After this one race in the Olympics this American dude had won the Bronze and he was running around looking at the TV cameras chanting; "Number 1 baby!" Number 1? But you just came in 3rd. Are you familiar with the number 1? That's like if I won a ping pong game and afterwards I was like "Yeah! I'm President of the United States babby!" That's not accurate as to what just transpired.