-Richard Pryor once said that when he was in prison to avoid being raped he would tell jokes to get the rapist's mind off of attacking him. He must've had some great material to stop someone from raping him. Was the rapist like; "Man, that was so funny I forgot to rape you." This makes me think that some comics would be screwed in prison. Like Gallagher would have no chance, unless someone tried to rape him during lunch. Prop comics would be screwed. Like Carrot Top. Every time a friend would come to visit he'd be like; "Dude, did you bring my trunk?!" "No, I forgot." "Dude!! I need that shit! I told you to remember! You're killing me here!!" "Why? What's the big deal?" "Nothing. It's just very important that I be as funny as I can be in here."

-I was on youtube and you can leave comments under videos but what's amazing to me is that people can rate other people's comments. How fucking lame are you that you're critiquing a comment some random person left under a youtube video? Just leave your own comment loser. "I really liked that comment you made about that Gerardo video. You nailed it! You're right, he does have some great moves. I really enjoy your comments. Are you going to be commenting on things you see at some point in the future? Let me know, because I'm a loser."