-I put a DVD in my DVD player yesterday and the words came up:"DOES NOT RECOGNIZE". I was like, what the fuck? You don't recognize it? Why not? It's a fucking DVD and you're a DVD player what's the problem? This is what you do. It's the only job you have as a DVD player. It's not like I put a ham sandwich in there.

-People keep saying that Heath Ledger has a good chance of winning the Oscar for his performance in The Dark Knight. That's cool and it would be a nice gesture if he did win but it would really suck to be one of the other guys nominated who loses. It'd be like, "You gave it to him? But he's dead. He can't do anything with it. I mean he was awesome and all but I'm right here and still alive, why not just give it to me? I came all the way to the show and rented a tux. He's in heaven, he doesn't need an Oscar."